I was talking to my friend about how I get antsy at work and go to the bathroom to do pushups and squats and such…and then she told me about how she got caught twerking in the bathroom at work…the conversation went like this…

And then I wrote this to email to her…

                          Twerking Girl: The Benefits of Twerking while at Werk


“Twerk gives you meaning and purpose and life is empty without it.” Stephen Hawking is a brilliant man and of all the inspiring quotes, his commentary on the importance of twerking, by far ring the most true to many. Though many benefits of twerking while at work can be named the focus of this narrative will be the mental health, physical health, and sexual benefits one can have as they booty pop and drop throughout their work day.

According to Scientific Journal, those who are more active tend to have a healthier mind set. Many people resort to physical activities to release endorphins and therefore, be happier. Physical activity of any sort is beneficial to mental health as it provides great stress relief. Twerking is a simple, yet effective, way to relieve stress and clear the mind. With the repetitive motion of twerking, an almost meditative trance is induced. For those who are unfamiliar with what twerking is, it is the continuous motion of bouncing your bottom up and down by thrusting the hips back and forth, while the hands are (typically) placed on the knees, squatted down slightly. Examples of professional twerking can be found in many music videos. For the laymen’s twerk, look to YouTube. While observing twerkers in their natural habitat (often clubs) one will notice the relaxed facial expression, eyes closed, and a soft smile; these are often indicators of a happy and stress free individual. As work is often quite stressful, taking a few minutes out of one’s day to twerk each hour can offer these same feelings and provide a better, calmer employee and therefore allow for better productivity. It is clear that twerking while at work is most beneficial to all parties.

It’s often stated that the average person should be getting a minimum of 7,000 steps in a day, goal being 10,000. This offers a reasonable amount of exercise for those who are often sedentary in their jobs to promote healthy blood flow. Now, imagine the additional benefits of twerking at least 7,000 twerks a day. By popping one’s booty stimulation of the vertebrae and gluts will allow for a stronger, firmer cushion when sitting at a desk for the majority of the day. A recommended minimum of twerks based on personal experience is 250 twerks an hour. Twerking also gives the added benefit of an increased heart rate in lieu of steps as it is a more vigorous form of physical training.  Not only will one increase their heart rate but also their flexibility (arching of the back and pelvic joints due to the squatting) and muscle growth in thighs and butt. Those who twerk every hour will most likely be blessed with a fat booty and a longer life span. Because science.

Finally, the sexual appeal of those who twerk at work cannot be denied. Aging adults are often concerned with maintaining their appearances; as previously stated, twerking will boost the booty to help keep a firm, lifted shape. When pursuing the opposite sex, it is well known that a round and full bum is incredibly appealing. In addition to a firm bum, the simple act of twerking in view of those of the opposite sex is very alluring. The confidence exuded from one who is ballsy enough to twerk at work cannot be ignored; go forth and snag the sex panther you crave. Your relaxed and happy demeanor along with your round, shapely buttox and sexual appeal will have suitors racing to line up, hoping to be The Chosen One.

In conclusion, being a Twerking Girl will only bring heaping reward to one’s life. Between the mental health, physical health, and sexual appeal it can provide, any embarrassing negatives from twerking at work are far outweighed. Twerking is good for the soul and great for the bum. Henceforth, all should be Twerking Girls. You’re welcome.


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